Thursday, July 30, 2020

Celebrating Failure

1. I had a really rough semester. Between balancing a full time job while being a full time student, the pandemic and my mental health in general, I've been struggling to feel like myself. This has drastically impacted both my work and school performances. 
At work, I was having a difficult time with being present. I was so distant that everyone was concerned about the sudden disconnect. 
At school, I felt like I suddenly lost interest and had no desire to put my best foot forward. 
In both situations, I felt like I was content with the bare minimum. I failed at giving each opportunity I'm given the best effort. I tried to see a doctor for my mental health and get on prescription medication. I tried to set a new schedule for both work and school to get back on track. I tried reaching out to loved ones to let them know where I was at and see what advice they had to offer. 
There were many scenarios and different things I tried to get myself back to where I needed to be. 

2. I learned that nothing is permanent and change is imminent. I learned that in order to give other people my best self, I must be my best self to begin with. As cliche as it sounds, this pandemic has given me a lot of time to reflect on self care. I've gained healthier habits and I've also dropped toxic people out of my life. I've realized that who you are and what you surround yourself with has a big impact on how you go about executing your goals. 

3.) In general, I believe failure is necessary. It is hard, but it makes you appreciate when things are easy. There's this book, called "No Mud, No Lotus." This book explains the need for the nasty mud, aka struggle, that the lotus needs in order to grow into this beautiful flower. The author explains that the key to success is how you handle your suffering. You must be self aware, understanding and have patience for yourself. Personally, I internalize failure and it may be something that impacts me negatively. 
This class has also led me to believe that we need to learn from our failures. 

2 comments:

  1. Hi Jessica,
    Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. I am sorry this semester, and the whole year has been such a struggle for you in many areas of life. That is great that you've worked on self-care, clearing out toxicity, and re-prioritizing how you will achieve goals. You're working hard to overcome failures. Congratulations on making it through the semester!

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  2. Hi Jessica,
    Thank you for sharing your experience and being so open. I can definitely relate with what you have experienced and I think most people go through a phase like that at least a couple times in their life. The biggest thing that helped me was reconnecting spiritually and finding new and better friends was huge for helping me come out of my depression back in high school. It is most definitely a process, and it took me about a year or so to get back to normal, but take your time and be patient with yourself. Also, after this period of my life I ended up getting a lotus flower tattoo on my rib to signify that phase of my life. Keep up the hope, if you don't have hope, you don't have anything. Hope this helps.

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